Handling Insecurities

Insecurities seem to be a part of every person’s life to some degree. More often than not, social media is attached to this struggle. “It’s important to remember that just posting edited pictures online or pretending your life is a little more glamorous than it is, is not in and of itself a problem,” says Jill Emanuele, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.1 “Social media alone is unlikely to be at the heart of the issue, but it can make a difficult situation even harder.”1 

The reason why social media can be so destructive is because you can take any insecurity and find it on social media. Feelings of negative body image, having no purpose or confidence, feeling like you don’t look good enough, or aren’t successful enough can blow up when overusing social media. “Kids view social media through the lens of their own lives,” says Dr. Emanuele. “If they’re struggling to stay on top of things or suffering from low self-esteem, they’re more likely to interpret images of peers having fun as confirmation that they’re doing badly compared to their friends.”1 This causes people to feel like they need to act and look a certain way. If people practice being a different person eight hours a day, it makes it harder for them to accept their real self.1

While most often this is directed towards teenagers, parents are also struggling with these same problems. It is not uncommon for each family member to struggle with this to some degree. When the whole family is struggling, it can be that much harder to overcome, but it is not impossible! Here are some suggestions on how to get back on a more secure and happy life:

  • Surround yourself with the right people

    You tend to become the product of your five closest friends. Find people that make you feel good about yourself in a healthy way. 

  • Acknowledge Where You Need Change

    It is impossible to fix something that you do not think is broken. Accepting that you have faults will allow you to understand yourself better and then know what to do to build yourself back up. 

  • Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

    This is where negative social media takes over. Instagram, for example, is an easy place to compare yourself and your life to other people’s highlight reel. Whatever you find as your source of comparison, limit your time spent with it or get rid of it completely, at least until you gain back control.

  • Give Back

    Being insecure may not sound like a selfish thing, and sometimes it’s not, but to be insecure, you have to be looking inwards. You have to be thinking that you aren’t good enough or smart enough. Giving back and reaching outwards to others can help you forget about yourself and your insecurities. It helps put things back in the right perspective. Be so busy reaching out that you don’t have time to compare yourself to others. The more you truly love others, the more likely you are to truly love yourself. 

Social media can be a scary thing, but only if you let it control you. Others can help you fight away your insecurities, so reach out for help and community, but ultimately you have to be the one to fight them away completely. Take care of your family by building yourself up, so that you can then build them up. 



1. Jacobson, R., & Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Social Media and Self-Esteem: Impact of Social Media on Youth. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/social-media-and-self-doubt/

2. Minsky, B. (2018, October 22). How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem And Negativity. Retrieved from https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem-and-negativity/

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3 Responses to “Handling Insecurities”

  1. Krystle Hunter February 24, 2020 at 10:39 am #

    Very encouraging article! Great tips!

  2. Randolph MATTHEWS February 25, 2020 at 7:15 pm #

    Agreed. We need to keep social media in its place and visit it rarely. It causes so much problems we should rename it antisocial media

  3. Mike A. February 26, 2020 at 3:02 pm #

    “Surround yourself with the right people”. So true. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this to my own children, my patients or other youth I’ve been associated with. It’s almost impossible to completely escape peer pressure at this (or any) age…so limiting it (or making it the RIGHT kid of pressure) as much as possible is the key.

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