The Nortonized Method of Time Saving

Mr. Norton was our college town barber and he was famous for scalping people.  I would get scalped and then no matter how short he cut it, insist it was too long and make him do it over.  That way I only required 1-2 haircuts/year.  Hair that short requires almost no care so I saved valuable time from combing (not to mention the money saved on shampoo).  I studied next to Rocky “the Troll” who went bohemian (with the hair only…well mostly).  He usually fell asleep about 11 pm- just about the time I needed beard crumbs or beard juice (so I didn’t have to rely on my own snack supply).  He used to awaken at midnight for another study session and seemed disappointed that  his snack supply was lower than he thought.  He never figured it out though.    To further save time, I used to squirt toothpaste into my scrambled eggs.  That way I could eat breakfast and brush my teeth at the same time.  When exam time came, I would eat the mixture while showering to multitask even further.  I saved time dressing by rarely wearing shoes and socks. I also saved time by not yawning.  It is usually no problem to find a non-science major (they have a LOT more time) and pay them to do your yawning for you.  It did get expensive but that was a sacrifice I had to make to get into medical school.


3 Responses to “The Nortonized Method of Time Saving”

  1. MG May 14, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

    You had some interesting school situations. What a delightful sense of humor! Did you do stand up comedy in med school? The beard thing is a bit creepy but terribly funny.

  2. Randolph Matthews July 13, 2013 at 10:41 pm #

    Not really stand up comedy. I used to do a lot of magic shows and comedy is certainly part of that. The beard thing comes from my own experience. I generally grow a beard late late summer/early fall so I can paint it white and do the Dr. Santa thing for kids. After Christmas, the beard comes off. I DO wonder though if any kids will need therapy because they had and abscessed incised and drained by Santa.

  3. Dr. Randy July 15, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

    Not stand up comedy. I do magic shows and comedy is a large part of that.

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